Last week I played hooky from my self-assigned blog post obligation, and this week I felt strongly inclined to do so again…but then I wondered what thoughts might come forth if I decided to check in and do the writing work. So here I am. Let’s see what thoughts/realizations/feelings emerge.
When I think about “playing hooky” the first pop cultural story that flashes to mind is Ferris Beuller’s Day Off. But I don’t really know where else to take that thought, because I actually never watched that movie all the way through. Ever. So many people seem really amazed by that. Sorry! I was that child in the 80s who was busy re-winding and re-watching Dirty Dancing, Splash, Innerspace, Short Circuit, Dark Crystal, and Ghostbusters on recorded VHS tapes.
Hmmm…there are more than a couple of words that begin with “re” in the last two paragraphs. We are nearing the end of Mercury Retrograde right now, and looking at this phase through the lens of Cosmophilia, this is a good time to embrace and embody all of those “re” words.
REWIND. REWATCH. REVISIT. REALIZE. REEMERGE.
I always think that this time I will know how to approach Mercury Retrograde from the beginning of the cycle, and then I get RELAXED, and forget that it’s happening…and that is when the retrograde knocks me with a big, astrological tail whip slap in the face. And initially, I have the impulse to try to manage and control the experience, but that is not what this phase wants to teach me, or the collective. It wants us all to slow down, look back, REEXAMINE.
I had a job interview yesterday for a reception position at a family clinic, and they asked me if I missed my old job title, which when I was last working full time was kind of fancy. I had to think about that for a second…no, I don’t miss the title, because I don’t miss all of the anchors and chains that accompanied the weighty title. I had mourned the loss of the title pretty intensely for a couple of months, but now I just want a job that I am engaged in while I am present for the work. A job, or collection of part time jobs such as I am accumulating right now, that does not draw from the psychic and creative space I need to reserve for development of my own creative, spiritually-anchored business; the venture that I get to tend to on my own time.
More than I need a fancy title and big pay and benefits right now, I need to hold onto the piece of mind that comes from being boldly in charge of my own destiny. Embracing the audacious notion that I can form my own business, on my own grounds, and believe that with continued work I can succeed feels pretty damn important. And scary. But I’m trying to roll with trust. Trust in myself. Trust in the embracing the seat of my own power. Embodiment.
RECENTERING values has been an intense months-long process, and I am happy to keep doing this work.
Playing hooky from this blog last week was really important to me, and for a second I forgot what it was I had been doing instead of writing during that time in my Tuesday morning: I was hanging out in my studio, working and being documented on video by my friend, Shannon. By the time I was done offering up some insight into my studio practice last week on video, I had no interest in RETRANSLATING that experience to text.
Today I get to go see some of the footage from her video work, and I am also finally going to learn how to edit video footage! Work with video has never been an immediate priority in my practice, but I am finally ready to take on a new skill in order to expand my horizons. I wonder what I will make with the footage…abstractions? That is likely.
Subverting and REFORMING reality is one of my favorite things to do.
How have you been playing hooky? How are you embracing all the “re” words? How are you showing up for yourself, versus showing up for all of your self-imposed obligations? Have you REEXAMINED which ones are most important to stick to, and determined which ones no longer serve? I hope you can make some time for yourself.
Be kind. REWIND.