How do you know how to trust your intuition? Go with your gut…brain, your gut brain.
Nope! Go with your heart!
I’ve been preoccupied with the heart shape, <3, for many years in my practice as a symbol of deeply felt and deeply known emotion, attachment, and connection. In the countless religious iconography paintings that I studied in art history courses throughout college, especially while studying many from life in Italy when I was 20, the heart shape literally glowed with deep knowing that originates from the highest source of energy and life. Even with an understanding of where many humans agree that our big understanding comes from, although there are many different words used for that source (now I simply prefer Source, or source), I still devalued my own connection to that energetic intelligence when it came to anything outside of my creative practice.
Trusting in the messages from my heart has been a natural part of the decision-making process when it comes to making art. It is socially acceptable, or at least understood, that many artists think this way. It is a social stereotype that I did not want to follow in most other aspects of my life, however. And looking back now, I don’t think I even had the verbal ability or awareness to identify this intelligence source that I trusted in my art practice as originating specifically from my heart. Why?
Because visually I have always expressed and presented very feminine, so also leading with emotional intelligence felt too extra. Because I felt less likely to be made fun of by the dominant misogynist social narrative running constantly in my head if I said that I had to go with my gut - which communicates fear responses throughout the body (so isn’t it fucked up that this felt more socially acceptable to me?) - rather than saying that I wanted to go with my heart - which communicates calming and physiologically beneficial responses throughout the body. Basically, I have been walking around most of my adult life just letting the sympathetic responses take charge, experiencing constant adrenal fatigue, and literally being afraid to make life decisions that didn’t come from a place of fear. Thpbbt! How exhausting.
Let’s all take a moment to breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Ahhh. Thank you. I feel better now having taken a moment to simply breathe with you. Calmer. Grounded. Connected.
I bring up this topic of heart intelligence, because even while I am just beginning to step outside of my fear in all parts of my life, and learn to trust what my heart has to say…it’s not easy to build these new internal patterns of communication. Frankly, it’s quite uncomfortable, painful, and awkward. Breathe in. Breathe out.
I’m beginning to piece together that the heart is in direct relationship with our intuition, our connection to Source. I want to have a more robust connection to my intuition, but the ability to trust that I know when my intuition is speaking, vs. logic or fear, has been difficult for me to identify. Mostly, I have been able to identify messages from my heart/intuition after the fact, and so most of my relationship to my own intuition has been one of regret, shame, and sadness. I have kicked myself every time that I haven’t listened to my intuition in moments that felt crucial.
I’m gonna need to learn to be more compassionate with myself. I’m gonna need to learn to stop and breathe in and out deeply and with intention more often. I am still working on learning to identify moments when my intuition is communicating with me. Oh wait, it’s talking to me right now, “I’m here. I’m always here.” Okay, thank you. I hear you. I feel you.